Now that school’s out, everyone wants to play and go on vacation. Having a flashlight and flares for a car trip is a great idea. So is a travel bag of games, songs and activities.

But what about a repair kit for family feelings? Or a road map to harmony? Even a dream vacation in an idyllic setting can become a nightmare if the kids are at each other’s throats. Here are some practical parenting tools to help bring out the best in everybody:

1. Remember the big picture. A family vacation can be a perfect opportunity to create fun and lasting memories. Consider making learning, loving and living in the moment your highest priority, rather than getting to a particular destination.
2. Share appreciations and praise. Families do best when everybody (including adults) feels appreciated. Notice the good things and praise your kids, aiming for at least a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative statements.
3. Don’t relax the rules and routines too much. Younger children can’t “sleep in,” so later or irregular bedtimes can create sleep deprivation and irritability. Kids thrive when parents provide lots of love and warmth, but also firmness and structure.
4. Give lots of time to blow off steam. Being away can be exciting but also stressful. Join in and help your children express themselves physically and emotionally through exercise and activities.
5. Provide practice at making decisions. If done in moderation, handing over some decisions to the kids is a terrific way for them to learn planning and thinking skills. Going somewhere new puts everybody on an exciting, equal footing.
6. Have family meetings. This is an ideal way to air feelings, make group decisions and help everyone feel respected for their preferences. Don’t forget that you’re all in the same boat. When tensions flare, it’s time to attend. If siblings aren’t getting along, a good “repair kit” is to have them work things out by sitting face to face, listening to and acknowledging each other’s feelings.
7. Honor individual differences. Travel often highlights some differences between family members: preferences around food, activities, how much time to be active vs. relaxing, etc. It’s a fabulous time to learn to compromise and take turns leading and following. Some kids get homesick and may act younger and need more loving attention.
8. Be prepared for idle times. In addition to the travel bag of positive family games, coloring and activity pages, have some games to use when you’re waiting or standing on lines (e.g., guessing which hand a coin is in). It’s also fun to let the kids safely scout out new places and come back to give you a report.
9. Allow some down time.  Families are often not accustomed to being together all the time. Allow some ebbs and flows of being together and apart, and of quiet and more active times.
10. Listen to your own needs. Create time to be apart from the children and nurture yourself and your adult relationships. It’s a win-win situation. One of the greatest gifts you can offer your children is your own sense of happiness and well being.

Music lights up over a dozen areas of our brain, including language, hearing and motor control centers. Cutting across a number of the “seven intelligences,” it helps to ground concepts in a unique and special way. It can increase the production of endorphins, help us feel energized, lift our moods, and connect us with others. It has been shown to boost creativity, self-expression, and even immune function.

Research has also shown that music can strengthen learning processes, particularly with vocabulary and spatial-temporal reasoning. It has long-lasting effects for retaining information. Many of us still remember the words and meanings of songs we haven’t heard for years, and it’s how we recall our ABCs. 

When penicillin was discovered, it was widely publicized and used to treat infection. A different kind of “infection” exists today. Parents and teachers nationwide are overwhelmed with the challenge of young children being rude, irresponsible, teased, bullied, shy or unable to tolerate frustration! The medicine or solutions for these problems has also been “discovered” but not yet applied…it is the teaching of social and emotional skills.

In the home, parents know the importance of teaching these skills, but complain that they don’t have the tools. In the classroom, the latest research provides solid evidence for the importance of teaching children these skills, yet most schools only support an emphasis on academics.

We are putting the cart before the horse when we only focus on academics and ignore what else is happening in kids’ lives. A child who has just been teased out in the playground has very little attention left for the math problem being presented on the blackboard. When children are preoccupied, they have far less “memory” or attention available for learning. They are at high risk for later problems in school and in the workplace in their adult lives.

There is a fun and almost magical way to help them… with the songs and activities of Kids EPs! These songs, as with all music, light up the brain in at least a dozen different centers, engaging children in a way that helps them to learn the most important lessons in life, – how to get along better in the world and bring out the best in others. And as far as the academics are concerned? Happy kids learn better!